“I guess I am predictable after all.”Har-Hi responded. “You are one of the biggest mysteries I came across in my life, but yes in certain situations I think I know what motivates you.”We had almost reached the edge but there was time for me to say. “That is a strange thing to say. I thought we were getting to know each other pretty good by now.”He chuckled and said. “True enough, but for one I can’t figure out how you manage to run in heels like that, I would break my neck and I know you didn’t have a lifetime of practice like Shea. And then there is this whole female part of you. I knew you as Eric and we served many months together and now you are a woman. You are still my best friend and I accept you like that just as I have before, but I don’t understand it.”I slowed down as we were almost there and said. “I don’t think about the heels, I almost tripped as you mentioned them and for the other part, I can’t even answer that to myself. I feel guilty somehow every time I talk to. "I frowned at him in confusion. "Was it really that weird?" It was like you were asking me to choke you or something. It just seemed a little darker than I was expecting, that's all."After all the things we'd done together, it seemed odd to me that this was what seemed to make him uncomfortable. "Would you do it like that again if I asked?" Maybe," he rolled on his back and looked at the ceiling. "But I won't ever hurt you or choke you. Don't ever ask me to do that."I raised my head and rested it on my hand to see his face. "John, where is this coming from?"He seemed to be holding himself back. "I don't understand why you asked her to hurt you."He didn't have to say who she was. Lydia was a flight attendant who caught my eye on vacation. Jules noticed and teased me about it, which was the tap that cracked our union and sent me running away. I thought we were all committed to each other, but Jules and John had a much more casual view of things. I overreacted, but in the process.
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